The Ego Page

By Dave Gustafson 

About being yourself

I do think that we who have it all together really only see it one way and find it hard to be our selves. Until we can be ourselves we can not even begin to understand others and our relationships with them. It is all about interacting. That is why we stress equally yoked together with the Lord before being equally yoked together in marriage. In marriage, we become one and if we are divided on religion then the oneness is also divided and there is confusion. This confusion brings with it division and conflict. Until both are right on their faith, peace is impossible.. The hardest part in learning how to keep a marriage together is to be mature enough to accept the other as they are and give in to make things work for each other. That is impossible for those who are not able to be themselves. Why? Because as soon as a problem is solved it becomes a new problem as the cause will still evade the issues. How does one become him or her self? Here are some things to think about.


  1. Name 10 people that know as much or more than you do.
  2. Name 10 people that you admire and what it is that is different about each of them.
  3. Name 10 people that you disagree with, but like them anyway.
  4. Name 10 people that you have never given advise to.
  5. Name 10 people that you have taken advise from with out an argument.
  6. Name 10 people that you feel equal to.
  7. Name 10 people that you like and what it is that you like about them.
  8. Name 10 people that you have never had an argument with.
  9. Name 10 times that you have listened to some one and never made a comment in reply or added your opinion.
  10. Name 10 things you have done to improve your mind that you have never told anyone about.
These are just a guide to start thinking about the things that make us what we are. If you use a Bible basis for the answers you are on the right tract to learning who you are. Note; we will never be perfect and in control, but at least we will know who we are and where we are so adaptation is possible on a level ground. Hope this will start a discussion point. There are other sites that deal with Anxiety Disorders on the WEB. Dave... 11/96
It is all about getting a life. More later.

New Paper: Meditation; what is it...? or why meditate?


Meditation is when you come to grips with who you are and all the lies you tell your self and others including the lies you hear from them. The biggest lie we tell our selves is that we are great and there is nothing we can’t do and that the world was made just fro me and that I can do nothing wrong and God forbid that I do he will surly forgive me. My friends are expected to forgive me already as I can do no wrong. One who meditates thinks of all the great things he has done and will do with the help of God who has made him what he is and how well educated and helpful he is to the world he is making and saving with his great ability to know more that any one else and the love he has for his fellow man.

Oh, you don’t do that? Well you haven’t been meditating then or have you; what have you been contemplating and discussing with your self? Remember in meditation you are the only one talking and the only one that can hear what you are saying…

Have you been telling yourself all these lies and believing them and making excuses and trying to justify all your mistakes?

You realize that is what meditation is all about don’t you, the coming to grips with life and ones relation to it and how we are supposed to react with it and the world about us in the true sense of reality.

When you meditate, do you have some extra powers to look into what you are truly like and why you do what you do, Or maybe act the way you do or see your self as you want others to see you instead of the way they actually see you?

They say that meditation is supposed to make you a better person and more in sync with the elements and surroundings so we are at peace with the world and nature.

Is that the way you feel when you meditate or is something missing? Maybe you haven’t meditated yet and you and have just been patting yourself on the back saying I’m ok and everything else is not my fault or maybe it is everything and everyone else that is holding me back and I am just going to have to try harder to please everyone harder.

Is that what meditation is or what one thinks it is, think about it, what have you been meditation about?

Yeah, think about it while you try and figure out what I have written so far. What do you think meditation accomplishes and why do people do it? Did someone out of the blue discover it, or come up with this idea? Where did you first hear about it and what is or was your motive to attempt it in the first place?

The big question is what has it done for you so far? Are you any better off after meditation? Has it really changed you or do you just ignore the reality around you now so you just don’t care about anything else, besides you. One might say, Oh, I have learned to love others and my self now…

Just what is meditation? The general definition is that it is a form of mental discipline and I suppose it is all about you again as I have stated above. Oh yeah it is also a form of alternative dispute resolution what ever that means. Here is one answer, “Meditation refers to any of a family of practices in which the practitioner trains his or her mind or self-induces a mode of consciousness in order to realize some benefit.” So as I see it, it is a form of brain washing by convincing one to be something else when he isn’t. Now that is dangerous and what make despots and terrorists, my opinion.

I am not and do not promote any form of meditation and see it as an excuse to come to grips with who we really are. All the meditation will not change that fact that we are human and come from other humans and inherit the human gene that is passed down through all of us and we are all identical, how ever different, we are all the same deep down inside. We just have minds that work similar to each make our own excuses and imagine great dreams that some times stray far from reality. Our biggest problem is the trait of making excuses and we unstintingly think is could never be my fault or that I could possibly do anything wrong. So Meditation, as quoted above, allows one to self brain wash and departs from reality and believes his lie that he wants to hear and grab a hold onto it.

When things are not going well and you are full of stress have you ever contemplated (thought) what may be causing it? Maybe it is about denying facts of life or your own actions that is the cause? Meditation is supposed to Aleve that, but it only covers it up and makes it worse, but it is an excuse to get you by, a form of mental drug.

When one meditates who is talking and to whom is he talking to? Some say they are talking to God some say to a spirit, but really who are you is he talking to? In the same sense who is he listening to? Could it be the same liar as is talking? That is one of the meanest and most entrenched trait or nature of the human being, he is a liar. Even if for some strange reason he does not lie, he thinks about it and sometimes argues with self about it before deciding not to. So now are you going to listen to that liar and believe everything he has to say during meditation?

Now that I have your attention and I haven’t even started in on all the other forms of meditation and probably wont as they are all the same fundamentally I want to ask; why are you meditating anyway if you are?

When you meditate what benefit s are you looking for and what have you achieved so far? Have you formed a sense of discipline of your own or are you just following someone else’s form. If you are successful why do you have to keep repeating your meditation? Think about it have you improved? Are you a better person even in your own eyes? Are you happier or is someone just telling you that you are.

The problem with meditation is that you are still the same person and that can not change and no amount of meditation can do anything about that. Scientific so called studies have proven that and that metabolic changes in the brain may be affected, however they do not remain after meditation. Matter of fact after repeated meditation eventually the stress builds and can lead to a serious and complete breakdown. Sweeping the dirt and junk under the rug leads to a lumpy and uneven environment to walk on let alone look at.

After meditation look in a mirror at your self and ask your self; am I the same person and have I changed, am I any different or do I still have those feelings that have been building up like guilt? You see meditation is supposed to relieve guilt, but does it ever go away? Guilt is the curse of the human being and everyone in society and you can’t get away from it as long as there is one other person around. You are that person and what ever you think or what ever you decide to be like for one reason or another you have developed standards in which you have chosen to live by even if you change them to suit the case they are your rules and when you break them that makes stress and brings guilt. After meditation you may change the rules and go on guilt free again, but are you really guilt free? You have to think about all the changes to keep from repeating them and the rules keep building up until that is all you think of unless you can remain mindless. To remain mindless is to be a zombie, the guilt then grows until you just can’t coupe any longer and there are so many rules and they are so easy to disobey and forget to follow and it goes on and on until you are a mess, but meditation is supposed to relieve you of that and it does just the opposite. I might add here that Yoga meditation is only an added form to take your mind off the stress and guilt and puts it into the stress of the body joints and sinews.

The bottom line is that meditation is just communicating with one’s self and no one else and self loves to hear the good things about its self and none of the bad and spiritualizes them away. The human mind is so crafty it even fools its self and who can know it. We are so gullible we can be easily led astray and believe a lie even when we are the ones who tell them to our selves.

There is a book that many swear by called, I’m ok your ok. I only recommend it to show how self centered we are as humans and it shows that fact and how to ignore it. After you read that book you will learn how to successfully lie to your self if you believe everything it says. Now if you do not know any better it will help you come to grip with your problems, but it is not the solution or the answer. Humanly speaking it will help you be your self though.

I am writhing this not to make you feel better, but to get you so made at yourself for getting involved with all this goby gook and start coming to grips with reality and the truth. The human hates that word, TRUTH. The first thing he asks is what is truth? That is the answer right there he does not know the truth and does not want to know it and never even wants to consider it. Yep you got it the alternative is meditation. We are most miserable and can’t know it, what a state to be in, but I have the answer and here it is; Truth came by Jesus Christ. That’s it nothing more nothing less, that is the answer and he is the only way God provided to remove guilt and judgment. You see, all your guilt even by another name is still guilt and the understanding that there is something wrong with the human spirit that just can’t get it right and is not perfect and can not cover up the fact that we are liars and have not to ability for good as hard as we try we fall short. Unconsciously we know it too and before we even think about it we are unable to ignore it. We unconsciously know that we must answer for all our short comings and they are called sins. Rather you believe it or not, God’s Word says the soul that sinneth it shall die… the wages of sin is death… and there is a judgment coming. It also says that with out the shedding of blood there is no remission. Christ shed his blood for our sins in our place as a substitute; he died for us if you would just receive him as your savior who died for you reconciling you to God in remission of sins. After he died for our sins and paid that debt he adopts us into the family of God according to the covenant making us children of God. Receive him now as your savior… Amen. 7/31/11 Prepared by Dave Gustafson, Modesto, CA.

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